Teamwork is a critical ingredient to a happy marriage.
Since most start working before they start a marriage, as a frame of reference, 91 percent of employees say feeling a valued member of a team led to their daily best. For sports fans, here is another recommendation. NBA, teammates, engaging in high-fives and other outward displays of team support, have a higher win percentage.
Here are a few characteristics of that may help you and your partner create a winning franchise.
1. ADMIRATION
Appreciate the talent your team member brings to the game. Value each other. Cheer each other on. This should be easy since what you admired in your partner led to that first date. Your admiration grew to embrace other qualities, leading to a proposal. Continue to look for what you find amazing, fascinating, or compelling.
A winning team consists of players who admire their teamates strenths, not players in extreme competition striving to better their teamates, or find their flaws. Healthy couples know the importance of small things, like eye contact or small talk. Those things that light you up, or light up your partner. Your partner, in their element, impresses, inspires and excites you. Acknowledging what you love can go a long way to energise your team.
When inevitable frustration happens, focus on what you like, love, or cherish in your partner, and verbalise those insights to each other–and with the outside world. Your partner will love you more for sharing.
2. TALENTS
When a team puts the wrong players in the wrong positions, it will loose. Delegate household roles based on personality traits, and energy levels.
In a recent study conducted by Dr John Gray 70% of married couples actually like to cook together. Those couples are significantly more satisfied in ALL areas of their lives than couples who don’t make meals together.
In our household, sometimes we cook as a family, and even the homestay kids join in. Donnell manages the kitchen while I am away. However, when I am home, the kitchen is my evening command centre and stress relief. It is a creative way for me to be diverted from the desbound side of my business.
3. Compromise.
Teamwork is a "we" proposition. Compromise is like walking; it takes balance.
A good teammate is able to give up something he wants while speaking up in areas that may matter more. One solution is taking-turns. Another is, when you do the job, you choose the solution, when your partner does the job, they choose the solution. Ala carte is another option, choose part of what you want, for example, vaation time, and part of what your partner wants, like location. Another key idea is asking your partner to try a new idea for a week or two, and see how it works.
Make sure that the decision reached truly feels acceptable for both of you. Any compromise you agree to needs to feel like a win/win. A relationship with one winner ultimately, ends up with two losers.
3. PLAY
Couples who play together, stay together. Ride a bike. Check out the latest 3D movie. Go on a canoe, or cyack ride. Give a Stand Up Paddle board a go. Try a new restaurant. Fun feelings will spill over to your overall relationship.
Some happy couples say at times, different activities done simultaneously, like reading in bed while your partner watches TV on a headset works and shows respect for your partner's diverse interests. Getting creative so you can spend time with your partner while doing different things sends a message that you want each other to be happy and are willing to work together to find a way to do so.
3. EMPATHY
Sometimes, you’ll lose a game. One of you might make a mistake. Sometimes, things won’t go as planned. When your partner makes a mistake, put yourself in their shoes. It’s hard to press forward as a team if you both fall apart over a single negative outcome. One adverse event doesn’t have to destroy what you’ve built together.
Only opponents keep score of who is winning and losing, not teammates. Keeping score is the opposite of creating a connection, motivation, collaboration, or any partnership.
Giving or receiving what you need to succeed requires a sense of openness. You can’t grab a ball, with a closed fist. Forgiveness, kindness, or apologies are impossible to receive, if you’re holding too tightly to negative emotions.
Even healthy rationships are a cycle of connection, disconnection, and reconnection. As part of a team try to deal with negative feelings rapidly and let them go, repair and move forward as soon as possible. Treat each other with kindness and patience.
4. RESPECT
A team built with respect has a higher chance of winning on the sports field or in a marriage, since they’re not tearing each other down. Each member appreciates their teammates for strengths, lifting each other up in moments of weakness.
Don't assume what your partner is thinking. Communicate and be on the same page.
Root for your spouse. Work together toward your end game. Keep going and reach the finish line together. It’s a lifelong journey, but a worthwhile one when you stick together. Team members may not share each play, but they do share an end game: to keep winning the game of life, love, and unity. Stay in the game! No matter what happens, remember you’re on the same team.